So I celebrated my birthday with my favorite people and went home that night with my husband, feeling thankful that I had these amazing people in my life. Fast forward about two years later. Life still has its ups and downs, but something inside me has started to shift. My priorities have changed.
In college and my early 20's, I always felt life was about who had more. It was a competition and those who had more (more clothes, more money, more friends) were better. Getting that new expensive Coach bag really meant you were going places. And then Facebook came along and everyone's filtered lives somehow made mine seem less exciting. I found myself posting just to show everyone what "amazing" thing I was doing? Why?
So while this got me thinking, I started to change my mindset. I started doing things for me, regardless of what other people thought. I stopped posting everything I was doing on Facebook because at the end of the day, it didn't matter. Sure I liked social media to share photos or keep in touch with people I don't get to see all the time, but I didn't need to be constantly connected.
This new outlook on life was one of the first I adopted in my 30's. Then one day a few months ago, I looked around our 1300 square foot house, and all I saw was stuff. It was like our house was busting at the seams. I had an epiphany. Why did I put so much value on material things? Why did I have so much stuff and did I really need it all?
I started going through my purses and wallets. I had so many that I never used. And half of them, I didn't even like anymore. I wanted to get rid of them, but then I felt guilty knowing I had, at one point, spent money on these. And the ones that I got as gifts? How could I get rid of those? But then I realized, holding onto these wasn't doing anybody any good. There were people out there who would love to have even one bag. And here I had about 30 that I didn't use. So I pulled about a bunch to donate.
But it didn't stop there. I applied the same mentality to my jewelry, scarves, and clothes. I just didn't need all this stuff anymore. I'd rather have a handful of nicer clothes than a bunch of cheap ones. What was happening to me? It was like everything I had ever known my entire life was wrong. Maybe less was really more.
I started to research minimalism online. The theory, I learned, isn't as much about having less as it is about only have things we love. Wouldn't we all love to open our closet and see only those things which we adore? That's what I wanted to strive for. I had so many things, some even dating back to high school, that I never wore. My excuses to holding onto them was that they were gifts, or there was nothing wrong with them, or my mom bought them for me. I had to let go.
So, I filled some boxes, several in fact, and donated them to a local charity in town. It felt freeing. I even ended up putting some of my better cared for things on eBay and making some money on the side. I know I still have a lot of work to do and that this process is going to take time, but I'm changing.
My husband has always said that he values experiences over things. And he's so right. I used to go shopping just to have something to do. Now I'm starting to think of what else I could do with my time instead. I try to go to the gym, finish a project at home, or read a book. While I love retail therapy, I've realized that the best thing to spend is time doing things you love with those you love.
Be well,
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